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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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So, come check Carnota out, man. Walk around, get lost in Calle del Mar, relax at Parquín de los Suspiros, and feel the soulful vibe of El Viento. It's a crazy, raw, and beautiful slice of heaven – a bit like that movie, Far From Heaven, reminding you to cherish every fleeting, imperfect moment.

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